Funny how quickly everything can be put into prospective. Sometimes we tend to think that the world revolves solely around ourselves, and when this occurs, its hard to look past the situation. I had done a great job of staying content up until I got word that Makia was not coming home. I immediately turned bitter thinking about everything he had missed out on, and everything else he was about to miss. I felt cheated out of experiencing the pregnancy, labor, and newborn stage with my husband by my side. How could the government rip these important times away from us?! It seemed so unfair to me. I knew I was wrong in my feelings, but there was no taking them away from me. I had hit a brick wall and this time I was not about to try to climb it. After all, that's what I had been doing for the past year......or so it seemed.
Last week, Mandi had shared with me a story about a little girl named Olivia Emma Grace that just touched me. She was a four month old baby who was born with a heart condition and had been fighting to stay alive. After spending numerous days in the hospital, her heart finally gave out on her. She died on Easter Sunday. Not only did this story hit home because of her name, but later I found out that her daddy is part of the C-5 maintenance team here at Travis. He works on the plane that Makia flies. I immediately felt ashamed for the way I had been feeling and for the days I had spent depressed this month. My position was nothing in comparison to theirs. I had forgotten what a miracle it had been for my baby to make it past the first trimester due to my thyroid levels. I also had been on strong medication during my pregnancy, and it was another miracle that Olivia came out perfectly healthy and unaffected by my medication. All of the beauty of Olivia's life had been washed away by the fact that she was a screaming colicky baby who's father was not here to help with the burden. I somehow managed to overlook the beauty of the blessing that I had been given in the life of Olivia and her health.
During this month, I had also lost my gratitude for the type of lifestyle that the Air force provides and the commitment of my husband's service to this country. Makia has always teased me that I am a walking billboard for the Air force because I absolutely love the Air force! Ever since Makia and I started dating and I realized the impact that his job has on not only our country, but our world, I have had such a sense of patiotism. Since I've been married, I have known that I was made to be a military wife. I guess as a civilian I had never really stopped to think about the sacrifices these men and women really do make for our freedom. However, all of this had been overshadowed by the hole his presence had left here in California. A few weeks ago I remember crying on the phone to him because I was missing him. Out of frustration I said to him, "I'm here doing all the work, and you are over there on a VACATION!" Poor Makia! That man has so much patience with me because he calmly replied, "I'm so sorry that you feel that way, but please know that it has not been a vacation for me." He then told me to remember this day because something big had happened. He said that maybe someday he would be able to share with me what a horrible day it had been.
After last nights annoucement from President Obama on Bin Laden's death, I was reminded again about how this world is not solely about me! My sense of patriotism was restored, and I am so proud of our military service members (especially my husband). I take pride in being a military wife, and if I had to sign up for being just that, I would do it all over again! Someday Makia will be able to explain to Olivia why he wasn't around for the first part of her life, but he will be able to explain it with such honor and dignity. I am so proud of the country we live in. It is so easy to get lost in the politics of it, and to grow bitter. However, I am convinced that we live in one of the best nations!
Congratulations to President Obama, and all of our wonderful service members!!! I am so proud and so thankful for all the sacrifices you make for all of us!
They sang this song at church on Sunday and it reminded me of not only my relationship with Christ, but also with my husband.
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